Her pitch was good. She messaged saying how much she loved the brand, shared her past work, and talked about her engaged audience. The usual. I was still fairly new to this and said yes. She also charged a small fee. Not a lot. But money is never just about the amount. It's about the value you get for it.
The payment, the products, the vanish
After confirming, she replied quickly. Address sent. Audience profile sent. Bank details, of course, were sent immediately.
Products shipped. Payment processed. Weeks after. She promised to post the next day.
And then she disappeared.
I followed up. The cycle started. "I'm unwell. I'll post tomorrow." Tomorrow came. Nothing. "Still not feeling well. Tomorrow." And so it went.
"Tomorrow. Every time. As if the word had lost all meaning."
The pregnancy, the hospital, the loop
I followed up again. She came back with: "Sorry, I'm pregnant. I've been at the hospital."
And I couldn't help thinking: the payment cleared, the products arrived, and then the pregnancy appeared. Maybe the timing was genuine. Maybe it wasn't. I'll never know. But it's a thought that stays with you.
I'm not heartless. Pregnancy is serious. But if you're not in a position to take on work, why are you pitching new brands, taking products, and accepting payment?
If you need more time, say that. Not "I'll post tomorrow" every single time, because at that point it stops feeling like a delay and starts feeling like you're just hoping I'll give up and go away.
The back and forth went on. "Are you okay? I haven't seen the content." "Sorry, not well. Tomorrow." "Just checking in, any timeline?" "Tomorrow." It felt like talking to a wall that had learned one word.
The post. And then the delete.
She did eventually deliver. She edited it. She posted it. I was genuinely relieved.
Three days later, she deleted it.
I sat with that for a moment. Weeks of follow-ups, excuses, delays, and the content lasted three days on her feed. There was no message, no explanation. It was just gone.
A collab isn't a favour. When you take payment and products, you're entering a professional arrangement. Posting and deleting isn't delivering. It's performing delivery just long enough to feel like you did something.
"The post lasted three days. The lesson lasted a lot longer."
What I do differently now
For paid collabs, I ask upfront for the posting date to be agreed upon before anything is sent. Not "tomorrow." A specific date.
I also ask for content approval before it goes live. That way, if it's off-brand, we catch it before it's out in the world. And I make it clear that the post needs to stay live for an agreed minimum period. That one line would have saved this entire situation.
None of this is complicated. It's just the conversation you have to have before you say yes, not after things go wrong.
